Canmore Weekend

I spent the weekend in Canmore (well, long weekend because I only have class Monday to Thursday) skiing with my family. The weekend was very interest. Friday was a not bad day, the visibility wasn’t great higher up, but it was still a good day. Saturday was the same with worse visibility; however, by Sunday the visibility was so bad that it wasn’t worth skiing. It took my family about seven or eight hours to make the five-hour drive. Tons of new snow. Found some sweet jumps, a few wicked runs, and lots of fresh powder. Unfortunately I also found lots of rocks, bushes, trees, and ice.

It’s ironic the way you usually find bad things mixed in with good things (although, that’s not really right because it’s not necessarily bad in itself, difficult might be a better word). The scenery was beautiful and I spent most of my time thinking about September days (and my first ski day of the year…the skiing wasn’t really the highlight of that day), but with all of these great memories surrounding me, I was still tempted to fail quite a bit. Temptation is meant to make us stronger, but beating it takes strength I lack and need to surrender for. For anyone who hasn’t looked at the counter on the side of my blog recently, I didn’t surrender very well (or at all) this weekend.

Part of freestyle skiing includes boxes and rails, as well as jumps. If you’re going to freestyle, you’re going to eat snow too; it’s a package deal and you can’t have one without the other. I went to ride a box that should have been no problem for me. Nice run, good execution, but something went wrong with the pop. For some reason, the toe of my ski caught on the edge of the box. One ski caught and one ski on, moving along pretty good (if you can’t picture it try this: me looking like a figure-skater, one leg straight back the other still moving forward, wearing skis) is a recipe for pain. I hit the box face first and finished the slide on my ribs. It didn’t hurt anything more than my pride, but it winded me.

Now some things are a simple example of mind over matter, while others are not so much. For me to get back up and keep skiing was fine. Even freestyle was no problem, boxes and all; however, I wouldn’t even try and hit that particular box all weekend. I know I can do it, but I couldn’t talk my self into it. It’s kind of like when all of my family went home. They left around 2:30 or 3:00 on Sunday and I stayed until this morning. Since about 4:00 yesterday (basically, since they left and I knew they weren’t coming back due to weather), I have been paranoid and checking over my shoulder. What was I looking for? If you’ve ever seen the Saw movies (particularly Saw 2 and 3), you’ll remember the girl who was supposed to take over for “Jigsaw” and his sick games. You’ll also remember that mask she wore when she was going to kidnap people (and the one she jumps out of the bathtub with). That’s what I’ve been checking for (and yes I know she died at the end of the third one, the mask is still stuck in my mind). No joke, I would check around every door and every corner with my hands in fists ready for a fight or my knife out.

I know it’s not real and I know there’s really nothing to worry about, but I was still afraid. It was too quiet and the dark got to me and no matter what excuse I make, it was just freaky. When we let our imaginations run away with us, it’s no wonder we get freaked out, but we should be able to use our heads enough to let God take our fear and replace it with peace. I have a serious problem with that. For real, I sleep in my minivan right now. I used to sleep in the bucket seat behind the driver seat, but now I’ve discovered the trunk is pretty much perfect. In the bucket seat it usually took me about 15 minutes to lie back against the seat or to get my sleeping bag from behind me. I always thought, “There is someone behind me, he’s going to grab me and cover my mouth, then slit my throat.” Not sure why, but I had such a problem giving that up and letting peace fill me enough to just lay down and sleep. If we ask and believe, God will grant us peace, but He’ll let us wallow in our fears if we want. He gave us the choice and put the ball in our court, we just have to let Him do it. Hopefully, you don’t get tied down with this like I do, but if you do, go for peace, I’m working on it with you.